Jayne, over at Blogging for Bitter Women, has had the excellent idea of using your keyword search terms to construct a fridge magnet poem. Ever up for a challenge, this is my attempt using our search terms for the last four weeks...
Beware of Internet Dating, Agnes Mildew!
My exes first time putting a hex on my ex.
Fig leaf boxers, earliest pants -
I was nude under the jacket, Doctor!
Knickers Up!
Fat knees, Norma Stits (not impressed clothing) - Fat Cow!
How come vodka cannot freeze? Knickers!
Can my ex take my house which was a gift? Smelly old ladies...
How do I get rid of lots of spots on my tongue? PERFUME IMMEDIATELY BECKHAM!
Turgenev, Dobrolyubov,"HAL PAIGE AND THE WHALERS", yof yofferson, Benicio del Toro - FAMOUS SLAPHEADS...
Celebrity knickers, gshohs, best hairspray to use for summer - How to make my boyfriend moan?
Agnes + Hexmyex, bitter exes, two exes blog - That's what friends are for.
Beauty secrets for girls - hamster bowel lump!
Hex Your ex - Briefs are forbidden, Boxers at all times...
So let the heartache begin
Poenas!
8 comments:
Hahahaha... oh god my side hurts from laughing and I think I just woke everyone in the house.
My favourite line is: hamster bowel lump!
Most excellent! Will add your link to the main challenge post now!
Jayne: I think Andrew Motion is going to be quaking in his boots, quite frankly. I never realised quite how shallow my depths really are.
THIS is why I love reading your blog.
well, that and you say arse and other words i have never heard before....
Heather: Possibly Matt & I should put up a glossary of UK terms for our other reader outside of this tin pot island. I shall collar him later and gauge his opinion - he knows naughtier words than me!
perfect. the dirtier the better. that way the young kids i teach won't know what the bloody hell i'm saying.
What a strange poem!
You can get a similar effect by cutting and pasting part of a blog, putting it through an online English to German translator, then translating the German result back into English!!
Hours of fun!
Here's a rude word:
Fitbin!
I had to come back and read this again.
Where on earth did it find 'knickers up' from?!!!
That's just so wrong. I say 'down with knickers!' :)
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