Saturday, 12 March 2011

Where Have the Years Gone By?

I got fed up of blogging, I must admit. You see, I went into this job many years ago, where I was told repeatedly, Blogging is the way forward for SEO purposes...keep your content updated on a regular basis, and Boy, YOU WILL ZOOM UP THE SEARCH ENGINES.

All I wanted to do was bitch about the ex and some former employers...all of a sudden, it became a little too corporate and too much of a chore...and so I gave up...for nearly four years - haha!

I decided to have a break - I took leave of work and wrote a book (which is about 2 pages from finishing and entitled Ducks, Muck and Lots of Luck - shit title, I know, but a WIP) and attempted to breed ducks, geese and chickens.

After 18 months of the ducks and geese devastating everything outside of our bricks and mortar house, and making the most inordinate amount of racket, we sold them...after we had 'liberated' Gary and Barry (Aylesbury Ducks) on the beautiful River Weaver where we still see them and chuck them bread. Brenda, the Embden Goose died, leaving her sister, Mave the Rave on her own, so we sold her to a Welsh farmer whose gander was in a 'terrible state' having lost his partner.

And now we have 15 chickens. They are of varying breeds, but they all have names: Euphemia, Lavender, Ethel, Mavis, Maude, Violet, Betty, Joyce, Raquel, Tina & Cher (they are the Black Rocks and I thought a Rock Star name appropriate), Norma, Biddy, Hilda and Una. They each lay a mean egg - wholly free-range and wholly organic...and I now sell them across our village and beyond. For 75 frigging pee per half dozen when Tesco get two whole bloody pounds for the same!

What else has happened? As if you are interested??

I went back to work...I worked for the most racist person I have ever come across who made me feel physically ill when he ranted about his Asian customers...and so I got out after nine months of steely, gritted toleration, much to his chagrin. He threatened me, abused me and called me 'transient' when I handed in my notice. Out of goodwill, I offered to work a month, even though I only needed to do a week.

After he gave me a crap reference, even though I had netted them £1000s due to my PR and marketing (even landing them on prime time TV from PR), I walked out. His parting words were that he wouldn't pay me a sausage...and THAT is where you are wrong, Mister!

"Unlawful Deduction of Wages" act comes into play somewhere here...and thus I digress...

Hey! I grew some balls! I told that turd he was unprofessional, petty and filled with sour grapes. What a guy.

I mean to say, gurlies, how would you feel about a bloke who came in to work each day, unkempt, scratching his balls, burping and saying 'parrrr-dON' in a dodgy French accent, banging on about granny porn and the most recent consignment of porn he and his wife were expecting from the States (and then he would clear off home and go off work-chat while they watched unmentionable stuff)

...and then, when an Asian guy would ring up for his money back on one of his dodgy hair loss solutions, he would be screaming (while customer service were chatting to said customer): F*cking P*ki C*nts...tell them to F*ck right off!

Sorry, I don't buy into that type of hatred.

I start work with a new company on Monday. And Christ, I hope it works out because I am as stressed out as hell about it all - the case of fingers burned firmly springs to mind!

My biggest coup is landing my very first freelance PR gig with Planet Earth they cover all manner of sexual health that's going to be exciting, isn't it?!

I am going to TRY to keep this blog updated again...if I get more than five comments on this post, I will go for it!

Apologies for it being a dull one so far!

Agnes xxx